Today I just can’t

Some days I can work on five different projects at once, while mentally planning out the next ones and catching up with friends.

Other days I just can’t.

Today is one of those days.

I fell asleep early last night, absolutely exhausted. I was barely capable of coherent thought. Moving enough to get my exercise goal was a struggle. I woke with a headache that persists nine hours later, after a strong latte and TWO doses of painkillers. I don’t recall when I last wasn’t thirsty, but I’m not dehydrated. My usual shin splints have extended to my legs aching, and for some reason, my hip was painful when walking this morning. At least it doesn’t hurt to walk at the moment. It’s really frustrating when the soles of my feet hurt. I’m in a solid fuzz and struggling to follow though processes. I turned on a podcast and three words were overwhelming. I don’t recall the three words; it wasn’t the words, just the noise. It was too hard.

Coffee makes me feel better. Fortunately driving to the cafe was OK, because I tried getting in the passenger-side door. I didn’t own a car for my last few years in Australia, and I left eight years ago. Right-hand drive should not be a habit. I have work to do, but yeah… it’s not happening. The latte was good, but not magical. Acidic foods upset my stomach and currently, everything is a trigger. Unfortunately, most of the food in my apartment are triggers. Peas made a late lunch. I’m craving fresh beans, but I don’t have any.

A three-hour nap has helped. Sleep and rest are the only treatments. We don’t know the cause of fibromyalgia, so there’s no cure. Only symptoms management. Sleep and rest.

I planned an amazing post for today. I’m sorry, but you get this. It’s all I’m capable of while resting up so I can take on the world—next week.

Note: I’ve been mentally writing this post through several flare ups. Maybe it was writing this, or maybe it was the couple of lazy hours on the couch after writing this, but I feel better this evening.

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Photo by Jessica Mulder on Unsplash

More about Bianca

Bianca's a nerdy, book worm who is constantly curious and appreciates being alive while the internet exists. During the day, she's a content writer for a huge multinational tech company. The rest of the time she's reading, and running, and bike riding, and sipping coffee, and taking photos around Melbourne, Australia.

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